tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81829674244769722162024-02-08T05:54:55.550-08:00Miles and Miles of Fun!Miles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-6538932447002538012010-12-28T12:08:00.001-08:002010-12-28T14:05:45.313-08:00A few thoughts after having Carl home for a weekCarl has been here in the US with us for just over a week now, so I thought I would stop just a moment to think about all that has happened. I remember when Jeff and Carl flew into town, and how emotional I was as the kids and I waited for them to appear in the hallway after they got off the plane. We brought balloons and a sign welcoming them home, and we were surrounded by a group of people who Carl already knew and loved. When Jeff and Carl finally came down the hall, I thought my heart would burst with joy! <br /><br />Now, a week later, I am still bubbling over with joy whenever I see our new son trying to figure out what it means to live in a family. He is strong and courageous, inquisitive and attentive, energetic and funny, compassionate and gentle. He has always had a confidence that I would not have expected of him considering the life he just left. But on a few unexpected moments, he has also shown that he is very sensitive to correction. So I find myself constantly asking God for wisdom on how to help Carl learn and grow and heal. Yesterday, in the midst of an episode, I called Lorie, a friend who has also adopted recently from Ukraine, and she advised me to hug him, and to keep letting him know how very much we love him. I want all of you who are adopting to know that Lorie's advice was excellent. Yes, we need to lovingly correct and guide our children, but we also need to help them understand that no matter what happens, no matter what choices they make, no matter how many times they mess up, we will always, ALWAYS love them, and that we will never reject them. We are now family, and family is a gift that lasts forever. They need to know that.<br /><br />I have to admit that before the adoption happened, I was slightly worried that I would love my four biological children more, or differently, than I would love my adopted child. But now I can honestly say that the love I have for Carl is exactly the same love I have for my other children. But that only makes sense, for God is the One who gives us children. It doesn't matter if He gives them to us from our own bodies, or through adoption...the point is that when He gives us the gift of children, He also gives us the love that goes with them. It's a love that comes from Him...a love that is amazing...a love that will never end. A love that reflects that love that our Heavenly Father has for us (even though our love is imperfect next to His perfect love). <br /><br />Now that Christmas is over, I realize that Carl is no longer acting like he is simply a polite guest in our home. I can tell that he is feeling more at home here. He is interacting wonderfully with all his siblings, is learning the rules, and is starting to open up to me about some personal issues. This morning he showed me two scars that he has. The one on his leg came from falling on something sharp while playing basketball with his friends, and the other one on his side came from a surgery he had a couple of years ago. That conversation lead to another conversation in which he told me that a boy at the orphanage was mean to him once he realized that Carl was going to be adopted. But Carl did not hold any bad feelings against that boy. Rather, he told me that having parents was a very special gift, that he understood why the other boy was mean to him, and that Carl wanted that boy to be given the gift of parents, too. I have been teaching the children 1 Peter 3:9 which says, "Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." I thought that Carl's reaction to this other boy was a wonderful example to bring this verse to life.<br /><br />I know that there will be many issues that we will need to help Carl work through, but I am very thankful that God has surrounded us with family members who love and accept Carl, with a church who prays for Carl on a regular basis, with a neighborhood full of friends who are befriending Carl, and with a Ukrainian Adoption support group who can help with the hands-on advice. But most of all, I am thankful that God has graciously blessed our family with this handsome, loving child, and that God has already proven that He has not left us alone to raise him. Rather, God is very present, and will continue to gently mature us to be the parents He wants us to be. <br /><br />Humbly His,<br />TwilaMiles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-69846766776037345482010-12-18T08:06:00.001-08:002010-12-18T14:36:33.953-08:00Final thoughts before completing our tripSo this is my last entry in this blog because tomorrow morning we will be heading for home. Before many will go to bed tonight our journey will begin, and just before many go to bed tomorrow our journey will end. This ending to my current travels will be the beginning of a new life in a new place. While the stories and events which have filled this blog have documented our efforts, challenges and many blessings, the story is only just beginning. Hopefully, we will have a lifetime of stories to tell in the end, and hopefully Carl will wish to share these stories with others who have had similar experiences.<br /><br />As a final word, I would like to say that while I have not personally met or corresponded with many of the readers here, I feel as though we are somehow linked in our beliefs and support for each other. I hope that in the future I can be an encouragement and support for those who endeavor the same experience.<br /><br />Goodbye and God bless<br /><br />JeffMiles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-18642993291206028112010-12-17T06:46:00.000-08:002010-12-17T08:38:57.853-08:00Visa has been issuedIt truly seems a bit anticlimactic to blog about today's events. Once the paperwork is in order, the likelihood of being denied a visa is probably pretty low. Either way I seemed to be a bit nervous going to the Embassy. Funny thing is that that my nervousness was dissolved the second we walked through the door. If you are reading this blog and have never travelled abroad, you truly do not know what a privilege it is to be citizen of the United States. Yesterday when we went to the embassy there were hundreds of people there waiting to apply for a visa. Today I saw only two people (outside the windows), and they were a woman and here newly adopted son. Oh how much we take our privileges for granted. Sure our country has its issues, but why would they be lined up out side the door waiting to get in if there wasn't something special here?<br /><br />Well today, Vova (who will now be called Carl) was granted the privilege to immigrate to the US with his parents. He was issued an IR3 visa which means that he is eligible for immediate application for citizenship. In all the things that we teach him as parents, I hope that we can teach him what that means and how truly special that is. Of all the people in the world and of all the people who have applied, why has God given him this opportunity? This I believe is something that we should all appreciate and respect. <br /><br />Because of the weather and the holidays, we won't be able to return until Sunday, so Carl and I will have an extra day to shop, and play games (on the computer) and just hang out, "pop" and son. Yes he calls me "Pop". It sounded kinda weird initially, but it seems pretty cool now. In a way, I am glad that we get an extra day. When we get home he will be covered with the love of his momma, sisters and his brother and I won't really get much time alone. Hopefully, he will remember this time in the midst of all the excitement of returning home. I know I will.<br /><br />In closing I want to reiterate what I believe about the season and God's blessing with a little story. While shopping this morning, we were at the register in a particular store checking out. They had placed a snow globe dangerously close to the edge on the cash register. While standing there, Carl somehow brushed up against it and it fell off - broken. Had this happened in a US store, the employee who placed it there would have taken the blame and the management would have been more concerned about the customer than the lost goods. I guess that is not the case here. Anyway, there was a little exchange with the management and they were not very empathetic. After a few seconds I decided not to fight the issue and just paid for the item as we left. While walking back to our apartment I got to thinking about that incident, and it made me think of what God did when He sent Jesus here to pay for our sins. No matter the reason or circumstance, Jesus's sacrifice pays the price for all of our sins and mistakes, just like what I did in that store (in a very small way). Let us all keep this in mind as we grow closer to Christmas and the celebration of this gift.<br /><br />So the end of our process is complete. All that remains is spending a short time here and then the travel home. Thanks again for keeping us in your prayers as we have two more days left.<br /><br />JeffMiles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-42502463304087170102010-12-16T08:05:00.000-08:002010-12-16T08:25:36.087-08:00In Kiev with Passport in handOf all the modern day conventions I believe that the most counter productive are the ones that preset our daily schedules -- meetings, plane tickets, deadlines. Sure it is effecient to plan things and events, but many times the event is more important than the content or the people involved. So at the begining of yesterday's events, I blogged about our not getting Vova's passport when we had expected. After posting this I had a few hours with Vova before the driver showed up to take us to Simferopol again. We ate breakfast in a very cold resturant (they were the only one open and their heat wasn't working), we went to the store, and then we spent about 2 hours in our room. That time together was quiet but very calming.<br /><br />Anyway on the drive to Simferopol, I thought a lot about the schedule and what just happened. It was then that I realized that it really didn't matter to me how many days we had to go through this routine. I wasn't really in control and I was really in no position to complain. Some interesting thoughts really started to roll around in my head at this time. Why we were delayed. Did Vova need to resolve some issues internally before we left Crimea? Was there something I was supposed to do before we left? All these thoughts about my little view of the local situation. It was then that it dawned on me that God is bigger than my situation. Of all the results of a delayed passport schedule the only one that was certain was that we would have to change my return flight. This is where I realized that the situation was much bigger than us. If you think about how chains of events are linked, changing two flight tickets are enough to change a life time of results -- the possibilities are astounding.<br /><br />So yes, we go to Simferopol, and of course we had to wait. The driver phoned the office to see if the lady in charge of dispersments was there. He did this several times within an hour and then he got out of the car and walked towards the office. After about 3 minutes he comes running back wanting us to follow him. We ran up to the door (which was locked) and then they let only me in. I looked at the passport, and then signed the release form. After that I was escorted out and the door was locked again. It is almost as though I was the only one to receive a passport that day and they made special arrangements just for us, hmmm. We then went directly to the train station and bought tickets for Kiev which we boarded at 3:30pm. The train ride was very long, but since Vova had wore himself out the night before, so he crashed by 7:00pm.<br /><br />When we arrived in Kiev at 7:00am, we were met by another driver and then went for breakfast. Our time here in Kiev has been pretty much like being on a factory conveyor. The process at this point is pretty straight forward, and our facilitator's team has the routine down pretty good. In the span of about 3 hours, we submitted all of our documents for the Visa and completed the immigration doctor's visit. We did all this and then we were able to get to our apartment by 2pm (which also included two different stops to the store). Once again, after yesterday morning I have become much more relaxed about my time here. In fact our facilitator made a comment about me missing home a lot by now. Sure, I said that I missed my wife and 4 other kids, but I don't seem to miss "home" as much now that Vova is with me (I do have some family with me).<br /><br />Tomorrow we go back to the embassy at 2pm to complete the Visa process, and then (assuming we can get flight tickets) we will be coming home on Saturday. Thanks again for everyone's support and prayers.<br /><br /><br />JeffMiles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-90297459234482292972010-12-14T21:32:00.000-08:002010-12-15T08:13:39.369-08:00No passportAs many have already determined we didn't get Vova's passport yesterday as we thought we would. The first part of the day went as expected. I finished up at the hotel, met with the driver and went to pick up Vova. The last few minutes at the orphanage were quiet and quick. Vova had to change clothes, collected some things he made for his sisters, we took a few pictures, and then we were gone. We didn't really talk to anybody else. The ride to Simferopol was really quiet. I wasn't sure if he didn't know what to say or if he was thinking about what just happened.<br /><br />We went to the passport office first, of course they didn't have the passport. But they said to come back at 4:30. So we went to get some lunch and see about train tickets. Lunch was nice. Our driver took us to someplace we hadn't been yet and the food was good. We ate a lot though in anticipation of going on the train (there isn't much food on the train). Then after making a stop at one of the driver's friend's house we went back to the passport office. After waiting almost an hour with all sorts of thoughts of possible outcomes rolling around in my head, 4:30 came and went. The driver made a few calls and we headed back to Jonkoi. There the driver arranged a hotel room for Vova and myself, he showed us where everything was (store, restaruant, etc.), and then he left.<br /><br />So then this was the first time we were together without anybody else. Interestingly, the first thing he did was make his bed (the sheets are not already on your beds in the hotel rooms). We weren't very hungry because of the big lunch, but I asked if he wanted to go to the store. He said yes and so we did. Guess what he wanted: Coke and junk food, imagine that. Well, I thought, what the heck. When we got back to the hotel, we tried to get some games working on my computer (some of the keys don't work right now) but we really couldn't find anything. Afterwards, he finally settled down and we watched a movie I had bought for the train.<br /><br />When the movie was over, we tried again to play some games again without success, and then finally around 10:30 we decided it was time for bed. During those 4 hours, Vova really made me think of Jeffery and his friends when they come to our house for sleepovers. As some already know, boys don't sleep at Jeffery's sleepovers, and I learned the routine during the last one: drink some soda, eat a snack, play some games... We went through that same routine last night. It was kinda fun.<br /><br />Today we will try again to get Vova's passport and then head to Kiev. Unfortunately, passport delivery is not guaranteed on a particular day, so we may go through this routine a few days. Either way, we are finally together.<br /><br />Our quest will continue at noon (5:00am back home), so hope and pray for the best.<br /><br />JeffMiles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-44154001719531732992010-12-13T06:41:00.001-08:002010-12-13T07:09:20.395-08:00Day 6 - A Day of Thankfulness and GratitudeToday was the last day in our 6 day count down. For some reason, going into it I knew in the back of my mind that this maybe the last day I see some of these kids. Now back in my hotel room, that reality has struck me pretty solid. The schedule tomorrow is such that many of the kids may still be in school at the time that I arrive and also when we leave, so this thought is very much a possibility. I would have really liked to have gotten a single group photo, but the logistics of getting everybody together was just not in my control. I do hope, however, that I have captured everybody's presence and that we have something that Vova can referred to when remembering them.<br /><br />If there is a single word that could describe today, it is probably gratitude or thankfulness. I wanted to thank the custodians for all their help so I gave them both appropriate gifts that I picked up in the market. I also delivered some of the gifts that were passed on to me from another family back home as well as one final addition to the Playstation collection: a memory card. In a word, today they weren't just happy, they were thankful. I too was thankful in that they have given to me just as much if not more than I ever to them. I believe that years from now, when Vova and I look at the pictures and videos, we will both have some very good memories to share.<br /><br />In Genesis 1 God created man on the sixth day. In the sixth day of our six day count down we celebrated the creation of one of God's men. One of the boys has a birthday today: he is now 13; and in some cultures 13 is the age that a male will officially transform from a boy into a man. While it may not seem like much, I wanted to make sure he received at least one gift for his birthday. So this morning I went to the market and found something personal that would also represent a remembrance of today's celebration. When I gave it to him he was very thankful and I could see that he had glimpse of what it's like for someone to care about him. While I cannot predict the future I certainly hope and pray that his future turns out to be one which includes God and another one of God's families. That same hope truly goes out for all of these kids. I believe that God has something special in mind for each of them, and I hope that my presence here has furthered His plan in that respect.<br /><br />Tomorrow we will leave for Kiev as I bid farewell to the small little town. While I am not the most seasoned traveler, I have visited a number of locations throughout the US and Europe. Sure I remember the sights and the special places, but none of them have made as much of an impact on me as possibly this small forsaken spot in the countryside of Crimea, Ukraine. Maybe it is the many people who have helped me during my stay; maybe it is the comfortable daily routine that I find myself following. Either way I will remember this place for a very long time, and those memories will forever cause me to know that God is always with me.<br /><br />The six day countdown is over, but we still have a couple more things left to attend to before we can come home. Thank you again for all the support, and keep us in your prayers as these remaining matters are completed.<br /><br />JeffMiles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-81592126821567077652010-12-12T07:35:00.000-08:002010-12-12T07:50:55.967-08:00Day 5 - Vova says goodbye to an old friendToday was a very sweet day. After yesterday, Vova knew that we were going to town and also that we would have pizza, but he really didn't have much of an idea of what else. So when I arrived at the orphanage, he finished getting ready while I explained to the other boys that we would bring the pizza back with us. After leaving the orphanage, I could tell he was excited but was probably wondering what we were going to do. What he didn't know was that we were going to meet an old friend of his. She is one of the volunteers that frequently visits the orphanage, and for reasons that were not explained to me, she could not go there today. Anyway, we were a little early getting to the restaurant where we would meet and Vova was a little confused. He had some juice while we were waiting (he actually drank two glasses), and I kept telling the waiter to wait a few more minutes before we order. Vova still didn't know and was still wondering.<br /><br />Well, when his friend entered the room his face immediately lit up. He was very happy to see her and she appeared happy too. After introductions we talked for a very long time (well it was mostly her and him -- mostly in Russian). They talked about the other boys in the orphanage, she asked him about his new family and then we talked a little about our travel plans for the next week. Vova said he was not afraid to fly which is good cause we are going to be doing a lot of it :). She also asked how we managed to communicate. She asked him if he understood his "Pop", and he said that I speak to him in Russian. I think he appreciates it at this point that I am not putting a lot of pressure on him to speak English now. (Yeah, I know that will change soon, but at the right time and place.)<br /><br />After talking a while I asked if he was hungry and asked what he wanted to eat. He said "omelet" (it's basically the same as the English word for fancy eggs). Well I don't know if she didn't hear or understand (that happens to me in the US too), but she brought two orders of what he asked for. We'll I wasn't going to eat, but what he actually ordered is one of my favorite foods: Fried Eggs, sunny side up. This is something I have tried to get the other kids to eat for years, but none of them will touch it. Finally, I have a kid that will eat my fried eggs :). So we ate and continued to talk for another 30 minutes. I gave our friend some stuff that I was to deliver from the US, and then we parted ways. Everybody was happy and thankful that we got to spend that last little bit of time together.<br /><br />After she left, we went back and ordered three pizza's and a bunch of Cokes to go; back to the orphanage. When we got there, it was quiet time. Many of the boys were resting, but as soon as the pizza call went out, they all lit up. I was only there for 1/2 hour because it was already late, but all enjoyed the pizza and the short time we had together.<br /><br />So today is Sunday December 12. If my understanding is correct and the dates line up the way I know it, today is when we would light the third candle on the advent wreath. The third candle is usually pink and represents Joy in Christ. Well today was very much a Joyful day, and I believe that it is all because of Christ.<br /><br />On to day 6 with our hearts filled with Love, Joy and Peace.<br /><br />JeffMiles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-19444441813712448172010-12-11T07:16:00.000-08:002010-12-11T08:31:23.279-08:00Day 4 - T-shirt DayI am utterly amazed throughout my time here how each day can be the same routine, but yet at the same time each day is very different experience. Today was a high activity day. I don't know if it's because it is Saturday or if it's because the boys had some visitors. Either way everybody was excited and happy at the same time.<br /><br />My contribution to today: the T-shirt activity. Oh this sounds excessively silly and your mother would never approve, but today we made Vova a one of a kind homemade T-shirt. I went to the market this morning and scoped out the best non-black solid T-shirt I could find and a set of permanent markers. Then when I got there, I explained in my best Russian (they actually understood :)) that we were making a T-shirt for Vova and that everybody had to sign it. They were all into it and everyone put something on the T-shirt, even the custodian happily put her name on the shirt too. Before leaving I held up the shirt for Vova to see, and asked if he like it. With a big smile he said yes.<br /><br />One pretty amazing blessing occurred while I was there. I wanted to take Vova out of the orphanage to meet a friend during one of our remaining days, but I knew I had to clear it with the staff (since they are still officially the caretakers). For two days now I have been working on what to say to the custodian to ask if I could do this. Well today I had to do this and I was a little bit nervous. So here is the blessing: the visitors I mentioned above were actually 3 young ladies who volunteer with the orphanage and also help adoptive parents. Between the three of them, I think they spoke about 6 or eight languages. All of them spoke English and Russian (and most likely Ukrainian), and then I think each had a different specialty. I know one of them was Italian because they were talking about Italian when I got there. Well anyway, I asked if one of them could back me up in my talking to the custodian and they agreed to help. First, I asked the custodian if I could take Vova out by myself (in Russian), but then her response was not one that I really expected. She was cool with me taking Vova out, but we also had to clear it with her boss. Wow, if those volunteers hadn't been there, this would have been a serious challenge, both her explaining this to me and also me again talking to the head teacher (custodian). I was very grateful for these volunteers helping me because the outcome was very positive and everybody was in agreement.<br /><br />I love how God is working in this arena here. He leaves me out here all alone to grow and stretch beyond my comfort zone, but then He reaches out and throws me a bone when I really need some help. No matter how alone you may feel in any certain situation, He will always be with you. His presence may not be obvious, but when He needs to show Himself, He will.<br /><br />Day four has come and gone; Now on to day 5 with hope, happiness and many prayers<br /><br />JeffMiles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-77454503590474334642010-12-10T08:02:00.000-08:002010-12-10T11:12:26.241-08:00Day 3 - The GiftToday was a pretty quiet day, but as anticipated, the time seems to go by pretty fast though. Much different from yesterday, the weather was not real suitable for outside play. It had been raining all morning and on the way to the orphanage, it started to snow. When I got there everybody was already inside and Vova came out to greet me. I could tell he was waiting for me. Later he asked when we would be leaving on Tuesday, so I think he's counting down the days too.<br /><br />Anyway, when we got inside, many of the boys were watching the movie that I took yesterday, and so we all sat together watching the move while some passed around the DS. I took a few pictures, and Vova took the bags of chips I brought to the community stash. Everybody seemed happy, but they were all really quiet. One boy, I noticed kept asking to see the camera. I had some issues with it yesterday, so I said he could, as long as I could watch him. While watching him I noticed that he really lit up when he found pictures or videos of himself. This was astonishing. I know that I have always heard before that people are generally interested in themselves, but this felt different. Here, the kids don't really get any special attention. They don't have mom's and dad's going to their school plays to take pictures and videos. They don't have class photos where they can save pictures of themselves and their friends. So watching him view himself on the camera said two things: we care enough about him to take his picture and he knows we will remember each other.<br /><br />Another very interesting thing happen just as quiet time was starting. There was a little exchange between Vova and myself, he left the room, and then the primary custodian came into the room with a gift: a smoked fish. Yes is sounds very strange to our westernized brains, but this was a very large token of gratification. Fish are a big deal here and many times they use fish as foods for celebration. I tried to explain that I didn't have a kitchen or even a knife and fork to eat it with, but she insisted that I take it. Now, throughout all of this experience the custodians have been very nice and helpful. Their English is very thin so we haven't had the longest of conversations, but either way I feel as though there has been this mutual respect between us. I believe that her giving me this gift today was her way of showing this.<br /><br />So 3 days left, thanks again for following the saga.<br /><br />JeffMiles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-34672902238643476442010-12-09T08:13:00.000-08:002010-12-09T09:30:55.415-08:00Day 2 of our 6 day countdownLast night after dinner (which was very interesting for reasons I won't go into here in the blog) I decided to transfer some hand written notes which I had jotted down during the last trip, to the computer. It seems the schedule was so busy that I hadn't had the time to do anything like that. Anyway, I came across a piece that I wrote probably on one of the plane rides, but this one verse really struck me as something that truly describes my current endeavor, both here in town and also in the orphanage:<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Feeding the hungry, provide for the poor.<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Work and discomfort have you here in store.<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Light fills the darkness and shows all His love.<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Serve in the field, but we're fed from above.<br /></div><br />Now, in preparation for going to the orphanage today I decided to load up on some goods. In the suite, the kids have a Sony Playstation 2 that they share, so I went to my favorite game vendor in the market and picked out his best 3 age appropriate games (all for less than the price of one used game at home). I also found a new movie they didn't have, and then headed down to the sweets isle. I stopped and collected an assortment of candies and a bag of cookies. Then last, but not least, I bought some sun flower seeds at the grocery store.<br /><br />When I arrived the weather was nice so many of the boys were outside. We played a little bit of futbol (that's soccer for those who don't know), but then decided to go inside. That is when Vova opened the bag and found all of the loot. Boy was everybody excited! New games, hurray! They all wanted to run inside and find the custodian so she could unlock the Playstation. Inside they all had a lot of fun as they each got a chance to do something new.<br /><br />Later, Vova passed out all of the candy and the cookies, but kept the sunflower seeds with us -- it was just a single bag. But then later during quiet time, many of the boys were just hanging around so I decided to pass some of them out. After their afternoon snack and all those sweets, they were all really interested in sharing some of the sunflower seeds (they were even the unsalted kind). I am truly amazed when I see how such little things can mean so much to these kids. These simple things that we take for granted on a daily basis mean something completely different to these kids who have no real opportunity to control their current situation.<br /><br />This was day 2 which means there are 4 more days left. As the number of days gets smaller, I feel like they will also feel shorter. I hope that we will be able to spend the time wisely and keep the activities enjoyable. There are so many possibilities and I look forward to each new day.<br /><br />Thanks again, and keep believing that all your prayers are worth the effort.<br /><br />JeffMiles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-78022937285758974002010-12-08T07:22:00.000-08:002010-12-08T07:58:21.932-08:00Day one of our 6 day countdownI've been here for only 5 days now and it really feels like a month. At home 5 days seem to go by in a flash and usually there is little different from the first day to the fifth (except maybe what's on TV). So in my short 5 days here I have officially become a new father, I have learned a lot about the Russian language and I have made some new friends both here in the city and also at the orphanage. Last night the idea of living in my (very small) hotel room for another 7 days seemed to be a very daunting task, but today everything appears very differently. Like the day after a large battle, the smoke slowly started to clear and then by the end, I saw everything in a new light. Maybe I'm making too big a deal of it, but today was a very good day. I got around town quite well and things went nicely at the orphanage.<br /><br />For some reason, I had a nervous feeling before going to the orphanage. It's not really bad; it's like that feeling you have just prior to presenting a paper or pitching a proposal. It's that self reflection asking if I am prepared or have it in me to finish well. That feeling seems really silly now because, God doesn't expect us to face challenges or tasks that we are not truly able to handle. Sure some things may appear difficult on the surface, but that's God's way of forcing us to be better people. My trip to the orphanage started in the school hall (mainly because I arrived earlier than before), so there was a pretty chaotic exchange with a group of older kids mixed with the younger ones. Topic of the rally: "Bubble Gum". Seems like whoever has the bubble gum is the center of attention. But you know what, I felt like the situation was handled well and there was a certain feeling of happiness for all. When we finally ran out of bubble gum, we headed back to the suite.<br /><br />I took a new movie today, we had the smart phone, the Nintendo DS, and the camera; so there were many different things for everyone to do. With all the activity the three hours just flew by, so when the taxi arrived nobody was ready for me to depart. It was very hard to leave, but part of me is still glad that Vova is staying in the orphanage for one more week. He has been there for more than three years and many of the boys have been there during that same time. These are his circle of friends, and on Tuesday next week he will leave them. Some of them he may see here in the US, but many of them, he will never see again. While you may think "what's the use in dragging it out", I figure, why not make the remaining time last as long as we can? These are the days that build the memories that he will cherish for a long time. Years from now when Vova is sitting around and he happens across a photo album of our time here in the orphanage, I hope he remembers his friends, and that he keeps them forever in his heart.<br /><br />Sorry to get so deep here in the midst of describing an active and fun day. I really hope that each day, as we get closer and closer to Tuesday, becomes more and more special to Vova and to his friends. While I am not in complete control, I hope that I can contribute to every day being special and that everyone can be involved.<br /><br />Thanks again for your continued support.<br /><br />JeffMiles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-88275245523836564492010-12-07T10:51:00.000-08:002010-12-07T12:43:37.937-08:00very Busy day...So today was the busiest day yet. We left the hotel at 6:30 am, picked up Vova from the orphanage and headed to Simperofol. With court papers in hand (hurray), we were going to get the birth certificate made and "Legalized"; obtain a new Ukrainian social security number, and then apply for a passport. If you think about what that would take to do all this at home you'd think we were crazy to say we could do it all in one day...but hey, here we did. Our coordinator and driver knew exactly where to go, who to talk to and what had to be done for everything to be completed. Vova and I only had to really be there for maybe 10 minutes of the whole day, but because it was in a different town, we had to stay with them the whole time. That said, most of the day was spent sitting in the car waiting for our coordinator.<br /><br />Some of the time we played on the Nintendo DS, some of the time we played on the droid phone. We finally got through level 33 of the frozen bubble game which is where Twila got stuck during our flight home in November (Vova has been trying to get through that level since I let him have the phone on Saturday). Anyway, the rest of the time we just sat there watching people walking by. I was reminded of a time when I was about 12, in the days before DS's and smart phones. There were many a day that I would have to sit in the car waiting for a parent to get out of work or school, and the only thing to do was watch the people walking by. For some reason, that never gets old.<br /><br />Fortunately, there was some time in the morning where we had a 5 hour gap. We started by eating breakfast. We left so early that nobody ate breakfast (and I hadn't had my morning coffee yet :)). We were in the center of the city (the kind of place where you can walk down the middle of the street) and we had a tough time finding a restaurant that was open that early. We finally found this cafe/bar that also served breakfast. Vova selected pancakes (they really looked more like crepes), and the adults had normal adult food. The tea was the type where the leaves and hot water were mixed in separate pot so Olig had to show Vova how to pour it into his cup through the strainer; it was really cute. Also, he wanted to eat the pancakes with his hands but our coordinator made him use his knife and fork. He pretty much ate everything on the plate. He even drank the remaining honey that was available to pour on the pancakes. I guess he liked it.<br /><br />After walking around for a while and enjoying the city center, we finally drove over to the city park where they had a zoo. We walked around the park for a little bit and rode one ride--the bumper cars. Vova really enjoyed that even though it wasn't quite clear to him that the intent was to run into the other guy :) Next, we went into the zoo. Now it wasn't like the North Carolina Zoo or the DC Zoo, but they did have all sorts of different animals. One thing that was cool was that we could buy a cup of food, and each of the animals that weren't dangerous were positioned to be fed by the patrons. We fed a mountain goat (or something like it), a deer, a lama and a bunch of goats. Also, the pigeons really liked Vova because he tried to feed all of them (until the food ran out). While this wasn't much it was very enjoyable and I think Vova really liked it.<br /><br />Once all the waiting was complete and the paperwork was processed and moved around, the day ended in a short little stop at the passport office. There, they had to take Vova's picture to complete the application. We had a very nice lady taking the pictures who seemed to like Vova very much, so it was very cute watching her work with him. The camera was in a fixed position so she had to grab a bundled stack of files for him to sit on while she snapped the photo. He gave her a cute smile and the picture came out very nice. <br /><br />Now all of you are still asking that question...Is Vova with you now? Well, for several different reasons which I will not really go into, it seems that everyone here believes it is best for Vova to stay in the orphanage until we leave for Kiev. While I would probably prefer it differently, I have decided to not raise this as an issue for several reasons. First, we haven't really raised anything as an issue throughout this process and I believe that this type of attitude is necessary -- go with the flow and don't worry about little things that don't matter in the long run. Second, with Vova in the orphanage, I don't have to worry about any trouble with going back once he's out (I really like spending time with everyone there). Finally, since the decision was kind of made by committee (where the orphanage personnel were involved), I believe it is politically astute to follow their lead. We should go to Kiev on the same day we get the passport. So next Tuesday we will pick up Vova, go back to Simperofol to get the passport, and then we are off to Kiev.<br /><br />Thanks again for keeping up with the saga and keep us in your prayers<br /><br />JeffMiles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-57040248358192555072010-12-06T10:44:00.000-08:002010-12-06T13:33:16.517-08:00So our "big day" has come and gone...So our "big day" has come and gone...While it seemed a little anti-climactic it was still pretty big and slightly chaotic. Turns out that were a few mistakes in the court documents/resolution so we have to get those corrected before we can really continue. I haven't been told that these mistakes are a serious problem, but our coordinator has had to work very hard today sorting everything out. At this point in the process, I cannot possibly be more thankful for Stork and all the people that are helping us here. There are many little details that need to be taken care of for each step; so the team has been working very hard to be sure that everything is completed and that we stay on track.<br /><br />Because of the chaos I didn't get to go to the orphanage until very late in the afternoon. This was OK because with it being cold, everybody was staying inside anyway. Consequently, we just hung out doing the normal afternoon activities; however, one funny little thing did happen. Some of the boys were playing with Twila's new camera (the one that she had just bought hours before I left Thursday). Well, after taking a few pictures and experimenting with some things, they figured out that the camera could actually take videos. Now this little discovery turned out to be the big excitement of the day. Everybody had to get a shot in and show their talents. From all of the takes, it seems that they all know how to dance, and some even aspire to be rappers. I really enjoyed watching their creativity.<br /><br />Because I arrived there late, and our coordinator was still working, I really had no idea when I was going to leave. 4:00 came and went, then 4:30, finally 5:00. This was the latest I had ever been in the orphanage, and everybody was leaving the suite (they were basically kicking me out). Turns out, instead of homework, they have a late school session where they do their daily assignments. Instead of making me stand there for 1/2 an hour Vova asked if I could join them in the classroom. This was quite cool. Their classroom wasn't much different than those here. It was a little smaller than what we typically see in public schools, but everything was in Russian. There was seating for no more than 18, and the desks were specifically sized for someone less than 120 pounds. Vova wanted me to sit next to him, but I would have looked like Kung Fu Panda trying to squeeze in that seat. During that time some of the kids were diligently working, some were staring off into space, and some were just goofing off. This only shows that kids are the same everywhere you go. I am very glad I was able to experience that time, and I even learned a little Russian cursive to boot (everything in school is in cursive).<br /><br />Now on to the business at hand. It seems that our big day is actually going to be a series of days; however, as I like to always keep in mind, our God is timeless and He has not fallen short when things don't happen as humanly predicted. Many of us know that all things work out to the good for those who believe, and I believe that this is how we can best show God that we trust him--though our patience. In this day and age we are not given prophets like those in the old testament. We we won't be getting any God forecasts this week about when I will take custody of Vova. Instead, we are given grace through His son, Jesus, which is truly the only way that we can trust in God and let His timing work out in the end.<br /><br />Thanks again and keep praying.<br /><br />JeffMiles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-10410690105650899932010-12-05T06:36:00.000-08:002010-12-05T09:21:05.969-08:00What does it take for your emotions to show?So on the surface, today appeared to be not much different than any other. We had a pizza party (well, I just brought pizza and cokes for every one in the suite) and everyone was excited and thankful. One of my favorite things to do at home is to treat my kids and their friends to something special. Anything from treating them to McDonald's or taking them to the doughnut shop after a sleepover, the kids always seem more appreciative when their friends are involved. Today was no different; everyone enjoyed the food and the company and we all felt good for that little speck time.<br /><br />Last night while talking to Twila a stark realization had come to me. Previously, we joked about our experience in Jonkoi as something like that movie "Ground Hog Day". You know the one where Bill Murray wakes up to the same experience day after day, until finally he has a change of heart and sees his life differently. Well, this joke, was less funny to me yesterday and today, because I realized that the "Ground Hog Day" experience for these kids is just that: the same basic routine day after day. For some the end may not be the same as for others. If nothing else, at least I know that I have given them a small break in the daily monotony of their lives.<br /><br />So after the party settled down and we got to "talk" a little, the phrase we developed to describe the current feeling was this: "<span id="result_box" class="short_text" lang="ru"><span style="" title="">Завтра большой день". For those who don't speak Russian, the phonetic sound is "</span></span>Zaftra bolʹshoy dyenʹ" which means "tomorrow is the big day". Tomorrow is when our coordinator will arrive, we will go to court to obtain the court documents, and then the remaining steps of this process can continue. Everybody in the orphanage knows that when we have the documents we can go pick up Vova, and he will get to leave with us. But right now nobody knows when that will be. We all ask the question "когда?" (when?) but nobody knows the answer. It can be likened to a pregnant mom who knows the baby is due any minute, or to the Jews knowing that the messiah would come and be from the house of David. They all know that it is coming and that it will be soon, but nobody knows the exact time.<br /><br />Finally, upon leaving today I had a little emotional spell. I am not the kind of guy that gets emotional over just anything, so this was nice. Leaving my kids for a trip or sending them off to Grandma's house is never a problem for me. Sure I miss them, but usually don't get emotional. I am a firm believer that this type of space can be healthy as long as is not habitually distant. No, the things that get me excited (or emotional if you will) are when I see my kids do the things that God has enabled them to do without a lot of input from me. Watching Jeffery perform on the drums, or seeing Abigail receive every award possible during the 5th grade graduation; these are the things that cause the emotions inside me to well up. Maybe its selfish and personal, I don't know. But I really love it when any kid gets the opportunity to express the talents that God has given them, and I always get emotional when I see the results. For some reason today in the parking lot at the orphanage, I had the same feeling. Vova was exchanging words with the driver concerning the time schedule for tomorrow. I didn't get everything, but I understood enough to know that Vova was asking Oleg what time, and that nobody really knew what time :) Anyway, surprisingly, this exchange gave me this same proud feeling that I mentioned before. I don't know why, but I believe that knowing that he is my son played a very large part.<br /><br />Once again, thank you all for your support, and please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we go through our "<span id="result_box" class="short_text" lang="ru"><span style="" title="">большой день" tomorrow.<br /><br />Jeff<br /></span></span>Miles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-57374966705326067822010-12-04T06:33:00.000-08:002010-12-04T10:13:27.628-08:00How far would you go?So the next time you hear a parent of a 12 year old complaining about driving 15 minutes to pick up their kid from soccer practice, or a college student's parents griping about having to drive 2 hours to pick up their kid for the weekend, just remind them of what I had to go through to pick up my kid this week...and maybe it won't seem so bad. Below is a description of my trip followed by some of my thoughts on the experience (you can skip to the end if you get too bored).<br /><br />This trip started like any other trip out of Raleigh with a 45 minute wait in Terminal A sitting among all the business travelers and wayfarer college students. The flight to Philly was nice, I had a pleasant conversation with a nice man from Raleigh about adoption and some other topics (nothing really out of the ordinary). The plane from Raleigh was a little late so I did have to rush to the international terminal so that I wouldn't be stressed about missing the plane. (If you've ever had an airline close the doors on you, you would know what I mean.) So the flight to Frankfurt was nice as well, but I was sitting in the last row with curtains across the isle (for the flight attendants to nap) and a German couple next to me. So needless to say, there wasn't much conversation on that flight. So after landing in the good old Deutschland, I experience their new form of "heightened" security. The metal detectors were set so high that the snap on my pants set it off, so you guessed it -- body search. Well the search wasn't the big deal, it was the fact that everybody was getting searched, so the line went VERY slow. So again, thinking I didn't want to miss my connecting flight, I rushed to the terminal to sit and wait for the departure. When I get there, the posted sign states that there is a 15 minute delay. Great, I can get a cup of coffee. Get back just in time, and yep, 15 more minutes. Three times before they finally loaded onto a bus to go to the plane. We get to the plane, and the bus just stops. 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, finally, the bus driver leaves the spot where bus is. We stop one other place for 5 more minutes and then head back to the terminal. After going back to the terminal and waiting another 30 minutes, we finally board a different plane and then we were back on track to Kiev.<br /><br />After arriving in Kiev everything went very smoothly, but extremely fast--almost surreal. Here is how it went. Serge, my driver picks me up just outside the customs area and walks me to his van. There he says that we have two hours to get to the train station. Not a big deal, except that it had been snowing in Kiev for multiple days and now the traffic is terrible. Yes it was bad, really bad, so finally about half way there Serge decides to stop, park the van, and take the Metro. (As a side note, in Kiev, they just park their cars anywhere that is not in the street-- usually the sidewalk). Ok this was a great plan, but the metro stop wasn't right there it was a bit of a walk. So we had to walk through a series of neighborhoods, most of which were covered with snow until finally we got back to a main street and aha -- a Metro stop. So there are three things to say about the Metro in Kiev: they are very deep underground, they are very fast, and they are very FULL. We had to change trains, so I just followed Serge from train to train, and finally to the exit near the train station. I bought a snack and we made the long trek to my train car (Ukrainian trains are huge).<br /><br />The train ride was as predicted (very long, 13+ hours to be specific), but because I was traveling alone, I had to "bunk up" with another traveler. This wasn't so bad, he was a nice man that works with computers; but of course his English is about a good as my Russian. So once again, no real conversation. After arriving at Jonkoi, and walking to my hotel (its across the street from the train station), I finally realized that I hadn't had a conversation lasting more than 20 words since leaving the plane in Philly, and that this would be the norm for the next two weeks.<br /><br />Now to the prize...I bought a few things in the market and then went to the orphanage. It was like I only left yesterday, but its been 3 weeks. There was one new face, and they were all very happy to see me. I was very liberal with my gum purchase, so they were all excited about that. I played cards with a few of the boys where I even learned a new game called football. We watched the end of a movie (in Russian of course), and of course, played some games on the smart phone. Before leaving I explained to Vova, in my best Russian, that we were going to be leaving on Monday, so we will have a pizza party on Sunday. He liked this and sent me off with the driver.<br /><br />So now in my hotel looking back at the past 43 hours, I am able to reflect on my experience and see how God has continued to bless everyone involved in this process. In 2 Chronicles 6:34-35 Solomon prays "When Your people go out to fight against their enemies wherever You send them, and they pray to You...may You hear their prayer and petition in heaven and uphold their cause" I really like this phrase "uphold their cause". It does not mean that He will do everything for you or make things easy for you, it means that he will be with you and stand on your side.<br /><br />My little trip was actually filled with many little blessings that I can really see and appreciate greatly. First, before leaving the house on Thursday, my (actually it was Twila's) suitcase had a blowout. Yes I tried to over fill it, but we had a very specific list of things to take. Well anyway, I had to buy a new one, and mistakenly I picked out the most expensive one on the isle. Because I was pressed for time, we bought it anyway. Well, God must have know I would need it because the new (more expensive) suitcase was lighter, and consequently the total bag weight on the airline scale was only 50.5 pounds. The other, heavier one would have weighed 55 pounds and I would have saved $50 to pay $150 in overweight fees. Also, when Serge and I were taking that trek through the neighborhoods to get to the Metro, I thought to myself, only this new and more expensive bag is really made to be dragged around like this; the other one would have lost a wheel or worse, come open out there.<br /><br />On to the next blessings, the flight from Frankfurt to Kiev being delayed seems on the surface to be a very undesirable experience; however, before leaving Raleigh I had a big concern about what I would do in Kiev before leaving for Jonkoi. Well that problem was solved :) Also, when we were in Kiev previously, I heard about the Metro and thought it would be cool to ride it once or twice. It was a rushed experience, but I do have to say that it was cool.<br /><br />And finally the last blessing which is still in progress. One of my biggest concerns before beginning this step in the adoption process is my lack of ability to communicate with my new son once I take custody. Many will tell you different things concerning this; however, I have taken it as a challenge to my self to learn as much Russian as I can. So this immersion if you will, is probably the best thing for me right now. I have been studying Russian off and on since the beginning of my last trip, but for some reason, things are more comfortable now and many of the words/concepts are starting to make some sense. Anyway, today at the orphanage, I felt much more comfortable than in previous trips and even though I didn't understand everything, I didn't feel like a total idiot.<br /><br />For my closing remarks I would like to give all of who have to continued to pray for us a big word of thanks. Everyday I am seeing more and more how powerful your prayers are and I too am encouraged to pray more. Thanks again and please don't stop.<br /><br />JeffMiles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-71174347070453380502010-11-11T09:41:00.000-08:002010-11-12T06:34:33.454-08:00Court Day is Finally Here!Today has been a very emotional, yet wonderful day. I woke up cool, calm and collected, but as the morning went on, I became quite nervous about going to court. Yesterday our facilitator told us that the judge wanted Vova's great grandmother to appear at court. So this morning, three different "official" people went to Simpferopol to talk to her. They all told her that the judge had requested her presence at court regarding her great grandson's adoption. But she told all three people that she was not going to go. She was very upset that the adoption was happening - so much so that she told the people to tell Vova not to ever write her or try to communicate with her. How sad.<br /><br />We were at the courthouse at 2:00, but we had to wait for the social worker to return from talking to the grandmother before the proceedings could start. When they got back to town, they drove to the orphanage, picked up Vova, and made it to the courthouse around 2:45. At that point, we all filed into the courtroom. Interestingly, the courtroom was a tiny little place, maybe 10'x15' (if that!). And we had 12 or 13 people in there! I sat down next to Vova, and reassured him that this would all turn out good. He smiled, but he looked nervous. For some reason, though, once we got to court, all of MY nervousness left, and I felt very calm...almost peaceful. I just kept remembering the verse that my mother had given me for that day: "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you". And He was, most definitely, present in that courtroom.<br /><br />The court proceedings were divided up into two sections. As we began the first part, the judge asked Vova to please wait outside. So, for the next hour and a half, the poor little boy had to wait outside in the hall on a bench all by himself. But he never complained.<br /><br />The people present were Jeff and myself, our coordinator/translator, the judge, an inspector, a social worker, a prosecutor, two jurors, a secretary, and an extra lady who was there to learn from the prosecutor. The judge was a lady about 50 years old, but we were told that this was her first adoption case. Everything started out very serious, so I looked around the judge's desk to try to get a clue as to her personality. The one thing that I liked best about her space was that she had a drawing done by a child taped to her wall. That one little thing gave me reassurance that the judge would try to do what was best for Vova. Then I looked at the jurors, and they seemed like very kind people, so I was not fearful of them, either. I had already gotten to know the inspector and the social worker, so I knew that they were all for the adoption. The only person who was questionable the prosecutor. He did not smile, and asked a lot of questions during this first part of court.<br /><br />We were asked questions like:<br /> - Why do you want to adopt a child from Ukraine?<br /> - Are you certain that Vova is the right child for you? Why?<br /> - Do you think you can love him like you do your other children?<br /> - What do you like about Vova?<br /> - How do you plan to teach him English?<br /> - What do your other children think about this adoption?<br /> - Are you prepared to help him should he need medical treatment?<br /><br />None of the questions were difficult, but could be answered easily. But there were two questions that Jeff and I, both, had to answer about 4 times. Thankfully, we were prepped beforehand to know how to respond. The first question was:<br /><br />"Is there anything you would like to ask the court?" Our response was, "Yes, we would like to ask the court for permission to adopt Vova, to change his name to Vladimir Carl Miles, and to change his birth certificate to state that Jeff and I are his parents".<br /><br />The other question we were asked multiple times was, "Do you know what your rights are, and what Vova's rights are?" Again, we were able to answer correctly because our coordinator had prepped us earlier that morning. This is the answer, more or less, that they were looking for: "We know that 1) within a month of having Vova, we must register him with the Ukrainian consulate in Washington, DC, 2) we must send updates about Vova every year for the first three years, then once every three years until he turns 18, 3) we must allow Vova to maintain his Ukrainian citizenship until he turns 18, 4) we must allow Ukrainian officials to be able to talk to Vova, and 5) we must give them a change-of-address if we move."<br /><br />And so the questions went for an hour and a half...then we took about a 10 minute break. It was good to be able to go out into the hallway to see Vova. He was very quiet. I'm sure he was bored, as that was a long time for ANYONE to sit still; but especially for a 12 year old boy! When they called us back into court, things started to lighten up. For starters, right when the judge called us back, Vova said that he needed to go potty. So the social worker took him. The rest of us sat down in the courtroom and waited. The judge looked around and said, "Where's Vova?" (this part of court included him). Someone said he had to go potty. But I think that was the best thing to happen, because everyone, including the judge and the prosecutor laughed a little bit. When Vova came back, I was pleased to see that every single person was extremely nice to Vova. Even the prosecutor smiled at him!<br /><br />I could tell that Vova was still nervous, so I was very proud of the courage that he demonstrated by standing there in the middle of all those people. The judge started out by telling him that everything in court would be done in the Ukrainian language rather than Russian. She asked him if he understood Ukraine, and he said that he did. They did not ask him very many questions. Basically, they asked him his name, where he lived, and if he wanted to go to America with us. Then they asked him what he liked about us; his answer to that was simply, "Everything!"<br /><br />Even though the second part of the day lasted over an hour, it seemed to go much quicker than the first part of the day. Vova was in there, the people were friendlier, and it became more and more obvious that the court would rule in our favor. At one point, the judge asked me why I was smiling so much (she asked this with a friendly smile on HER face), and all I could say was that I was very, very happy.<br /><br />When we were finished, the judge asked us all to wait back in the hallway. Immediately when we got out there, Vova hugged our necks. He knew that it had gone well. Then we sat down and waited again. I was expecting them to call us back in again to give us the final ruling, but that never happened. Instead, the judge came out as I was taking a couple of photos of Vova. When she asked if I could take a picture of her and Vova, that told me that court was done, and that the judge had ruled in our favor...it was never officially announced, but that photo seemed to seal the deal. Then someone else took a picture of Jeff, Vova and me; our first family-photo of Vova as our son (or should we call him Carl now?).<br /><br />Quickly after that we drove Vova back to the orphanage. I thought we would have a few minutes to say goodbye to him, but realized once we got there that we had to say goodbye right there at the car, and then quickly rush to the train station to get a ticket for an over-night train ride back to Kyiv. So our goodbyes were rushed. But maybe that was for the best, because shortly after that, when I posted on facebook that Vova was now our son, I began to cry. All of that emotion that had been building all day finally burst through when I stopped to think about how good this day had turned out. Thank you, Lord. Thank you!Miles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-45265583979392313052010-11-10T11:16:00.001-08:002010-11-10T11:48:46.062-08:00Not Enough TimeToday just zipped by...as much as I tried to make it go slow so that we could soak in every moment, and say all the things that we wanted to say...it was over in the blink of an eye.<br /><br />Tomorrow is our court day, so today we entered the orphanage knowing that it may be the last time for awhile that we get to go there. We took Vova outside for a change, and kicked the soccer ball around with him for a little bit. It was a beautiful day, so that was nice.<br /><br />When we went back in, we set up our computer again, for there were so many things that Jeff and I wanted to say to Vova and his friends. But we could never get a good connection, so we could not say the things that were on our hearts. All we could do was just enjoy being in the midst of these amazing boys, and pray that they understood our hearts without many words being said. There is a chance that we might be able to briefly return to the orphanage for a bit after court tomorrow, but just in case we can't, we hugged all the boys real tight, making sure that they know that we care about each and every one of them. <br /><br />When we said good-bye to Vova, it was with the knowledge that the next time we see him, it will be in court. That thought is both thrilling and scary, all at the same time. It's a bit scary, because we do not know what the judge will ask us. But even more than that, it is exciting because we believe with everything in us that God will see to completion this great thing which He initiated way back in March. <br /><br />Right before we left for Ukraine, my mom gave me a notebook with Bible verses and prayers to be read each day...prayers that she had personally written for us, and verses that she had asked God to give her. I usually am good and just read the prescribed day's verses/prayers, but today I peeked ahead to tomorrow's, and it said, "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you". Oh, how perfect, for I needed a verse I could hang onto in court, and this one is a wonderful reminder that God will be right there with us!<br /><br />We will be in court at 2:00pm our time (7:00am for you people back in NC). We would greatly appreciate your prayers. As soon as I can, I'll blog about what all took place.Miles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-26758916555630411782010-11-09T07:38:00.000-08:002010-11-09T09:20:55.108-08:00Important ConversationsToday we took our computer to the orphanage so we could talk to Vova via Google Translate. Here is a sampling of the conversation we had:<br /><br />- Us: "Vova, do you know that we are going to court this Thursday?"<br /> - Vova: "Yes!" And he smiles a smile that takes up his whole face.<br /><br /> - Us: "Shortly after court is finished, do you know that we will have to go back to America for a little while?"<br /> - Vova: "Yes." His smile isn't so big now.<br /><br /> - Us: "But we will come back for you real soon!"<br /> - Vova: "I know." And the smile returns.<br /><br /> - Us: "When we go to court, you will be given a new name. Are you okay with that?"<br /> - Vova nods yes.<br /> - Us: "Do you remember us telling you about your Granddaddy Welch? Twila's daddy? He's a doctor, just like you want to be, and he will be a very important person in your life, so we decided to name you after him. Your new name will be Vladimir Carl Miles. Do you like that?"<br /> - Vova: "Yes, I like that very much!" He said with a smile.<br /> - Us: "Now we want you to take some time to think about what you want to be called when you get to America. You can go by Vladimir, Vova, Carl, or whatever you choose. Just let us know when you decide."<br /> - Vova, without hesitation, answered, "I want to be called Carl". I wasn't really expecting him to say that, but it made me feel happy, for my daddy is one of the most wonderful people I know, and I would be proud to pass that name onto our son. Time will tell if that name sticks when he gets to America, or if he will simply want to stay with the name Vova. But something in me says that he is ready for a change....<br /><br /> - Us: "We love you very much."<br /> - Vova: "I will miss you when you leave."<br /> - Us: "We will miss you, too."<br /><br />At that, Jeff jumped up and grabbed his guitar (which he brought for the first time today). He said we were getting too mushy, so we had to move onto something fun!! He makes me laugh. Vova was very interested in the guitar, and quietly listened as Jeff and I sang songs together. We sang simple songs like "Jesus Love Me", "This Little Light of Mine", and "He's Got the Whole World in His Hand". Then Jeff sat behind Vova, put the guitar in his hands, reached around him, and helped him to strum a few chords. Another beautiful father/son moment.<br /><br />After that, Vova went over to the computer and typed, "I love you two very much. Thank you for everything!". I tell you what, people, there is nothing like seeing a child's life change right before your very eyes. To see hope, love, security and joy all become real to him...to see a prayer for a family answered...it's beyond wonderful! And it all happened because God knew this little boy, and for some reason, made him known to us.<br /><br />Then, to top off this day, Vova went to his room and brought back a zip-lock bag for us to take home with us. In that bag were all the letters and pictures that people had written him over the years, as well as a few things that he wanted to keep from our week together such as Ninja Turtle trading cards and the pictures we water-colored a few days ago. In essence, he gave us the things that are most important to him in life. In reality, this little bag probably contains the only things that he will take from the orphanage when he leaves. In that simple act of him handing those things over to us, he told us that he has every confidence that he will, indeed, be adopted by us, and that he is ready to go home.Miles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-67932404499715821732010-11-08T07:14:00.000-08:002010-11-08T08:02:57.153-08:00Haircut day!The first thing we did today when we arrived at the orphanage, was to Skype home so Vova and our other kids could see each other and say hi. It was really pretty cute to see them try to interact with each other. Of course, they couldn't say too much, but I was proud that the kids in America said 3 or 4 things in Russian to Vova! Then, some of Vova's buddies began to crowd around the computer to see what was going on, and Vova told them that those were his brother and sisters. Pretty cool.<br /><br />As we were playing on Skype, one of the boys was getting a hair cut. Well, it wasn't really a hair cut, it was more like a really close buzz cut. When they were done with him, the next boy was called, and he got the exact same cut. And down the line they went...each boy came when his name was called, and quietly sat as his hair was buzzed away. The funny thing was that all the boys circled around whoever was up, and just watched each other go through this. It was great entertainment for them for over an hour!<br /><br />I kept looking at Vova, wondering if they would let him skip his buzz cut this month since he was just days away from going to court to be adopted. But, finally, at the very end, they called his name. I was a little bummed because his hair was about an inch long! I wanted to tell the lady to just trim it a little over the ears, and leave it at that, but she didn't seem to care what I thought. Actually, that's not true, she DID ask me which size clippers I would like for her to use on Vova. I tried to tell her to use whatever would keep his hair the longest, but she didn't understand me, so I pointed to a boy with his hair buzzed about 1/2" long. But Vova thought I was pointing at a boy who was practically bald! His eyes got big, and he began to say, "No, no, no!!" Once I realized why he was saying no, we all started laughing. Silly boy. So, he got his hair buzzed just like everyone else. When he was done, someone said something to him which embarrassed him, so he ran off to the bathroom to look at himself. When he came out, I told him he looked handsome; which he did.<br /><br />Going to the orphanage every day has become such a set part of our routine now; it's going to be odd when we stop going. Those children have made such an impression on my heart and life, I will never forget them. Not only that, but I will have to get on my knees to ask God what He would have me do to help them. How can I be an advocate for them? How can I help others realize just how wonderful these children are? And most importantly for me, I wonder when I will be able to come back again. Amanda Devore told me of three different Ukrainian orphan mission trips coming up in 2011. You can bet your bottom dollar that I will be a part of one of those! Anyone want to join me? You will be blessed beyond measure, and will be experiencing the heart of God as you help minister to and take care of these orphans. Come with me...I dare you! :)Miles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-69225101311125735432010-11-07T08:11:00.000-08:002010-11-07T08:44:32.406-08:00Painting and PlayingOkay, my sadness from yesterday is gone, and today has been a great day! This morning while walking through the open-air market, we found a booth that had a good number of craft items, so we bought some watercolor sets, brushes, and little containers for water. Then we went to the electronics store and bought a ream of printer paper. It was fun showing all of that to Vova, because the little guy really enjoys doing artistic things with us. Jeff and I created our own pictures right along with Vova. At one point I asked Jeff if he had ever painted with the kids before, and he said, "nope!"...he won't admit it, but I think even Jeff had fun playing with the watercolors.<br /><br />I asked Vova how his ear was feeling, and he tried to make me think that it was okay. But occasionally he would stop, wince, and put his hand on his ear, so I know that it still hurts. But it must not hurt too terribly bad because he was still very active and playful.<br /><br />Today was a very sweet day with just the three of us hanging out. We played games, threw the frisbee, and had a tickle fight. And then, before I knew it, Jeff said it was time to go. But when he told me we had to go, Vova and I were sitting on the couch, and he was snuggled up right next to me, listening to some music on Jeff's phone. I didn't want that moment to end, so I seriously thought about refusing to leave. But I figured that wouldn't be setting a very good example, so we began packing up all of our stuff. As we started to walk out this time, a good number of Vova's friends came out of their rooms and hugged me goodbye. Then, out by the car, we had to tell Vova goodbye. As we drove away, I kept thinking about how in just a few short days we are going to have to say goodbye for real...not for good, but for a few...long...weeks. But THEN, all of this will come to fruition, and the entire family will be together, forever.Miles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-58577103742039644642010-11-06T08:25:00.001-07:002010-11-07T09:47:00.784-08:00Blessings and SadnessToday we found Vova outside playing. It was a beautiful Fall day, and the kids were having a great time running around, playing soccer (or, should I say, football). When he saw us, he came running up to us, breathing hard, and checks red. I would have enjoyed just sitting there, watching him continue to play outside with his buddies, but, as always, he wanted to go inside with us. So that's what we did.<br /><br />Before we left yesterday, Vova asked if we would bring another movie, so today we brought Kung Fu Panda. We figured with the movie being shown, a bunch of his friends would show up, so we came with plenty of grapes, bananas, chips and juice boxes for everyone. Vova passed out the juice boxes, gave out some grapes, and opened one bag of chips to share with everyone. But no one touched the bananas...as much as those kids eat, that seemed odd to me. So, a little later I decided that since no one else was eating a banana, I would have one. But as soon as I started to peel one, everyone wanted one! It was if they just didn't know how to get one open before, so nobody had taken one. But now that they understood the secret of eating one, they all wanted one of their own! I wonder if that was something new for them?<br /><br />Over the last couple of days, I have noticed a little girl who keeps showing up...this one little girl amongst all these boys...yet they seemed to accept her as part of the group. I realized today that her brother, Aziz, is one of Vova's friends. That's probably why she's accepted so readily with the crowd. Anyway, today she gently pushed her way into my life. As we watched the movie, she sat right beside me. When the chips were passed around, she ran back to her room, and brought back a page that she had torn out of her Barbie coloring book. She folded all the sides real nice, and made a little plate. She put her chips on this special plate, and gave them to me. Then later, she brought me a ring she had made. Her name was Fatima, and, just like her brother, she is beautiful, inside and out. She's not only beautiful and sweet, but she is also very strong! She can do 12 pull-ups off the the top of the door frame, and is working on being able to do one-armed pull-ups! All I can say is that with three brothers, and with her being as strong as she is, NO one had better mess with her!!<br /><br />Two or three times today, I noticed that Vova looked like he was in pain. When I asked him about it, he pointed to his ear. Oh, we all know how bad earaches can be! But try being a mother with no way of helping your child! As far as I can tell, they only send the children to the doctor when there is an emergency, but not for an ear ache. So, I'm not sure what to do for Vova, except to pray for him. This is yet one more reason I want to get him home as soon as possible. No child should have to go untreated when feeling bad! The thought of that makes me sad.<br /><br />In so many ways, the word "sad" describes me right now. I'm sad because I miss my kids back home...I missed going with Abigail on her first middle school field-trip...I missed seeing Jeffery do his first step-team performance at school...I missed rejoicing with Felicia this week when her bottom front tooth finally came out...and on Friday, I am going to miss Madison being a pumpkin in her first kindergarten school play. Then, to top that off with not being able to help Vova with his earache...Yes, sad is the word for me tonight. That's not to say I don't want to be here. I am exactly where I am supposed to be; I have no doubt about that. It's just not easy right now. But then again, no one ever said this would be easy. Worth it, yes. Easy, no.Miles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-19766124995808170592010-11-05T08:56:00.000-07:002010-11-05T09:30:55.026-07:00Low Key DayAfter yesterday, we decided today needed to be a low-key day. In fact, we kinda wanted to hang out with just Vova for a change. We never actually told the other boys that, but they seemed to sense it. So, for the most part, they gave us some privacy. We talked a little bit about our family, and showed Vova pictures of his siblings (which he had seen), his grandparents on my side of the family, his grandparents on Jeff's side of the family, and his aunts and uncles. He seemed to like seeing pictures of everyone.<br /><br />Then we moved into a little bit of learning. He's doing pretty good with saying his colors in English, and, with a little bit of prompting here and there, he can count to 100. But, to be honest, it is a chore for him to try to learn English. He repeats back the things that we ask him to say, and he tries really hard, but he gets frustrated after just a few minutes of working. I am praying that when he is immersed in an English-speaking culture, he will naturally, and quickly pick things up.<br /><br />After working on his English, we moved into play mode. The biggest hit of the day was when Jeff made a paper airplane. That one simple little hand-made toy provided enough fun for the next 30 minutes! I tell you what, there's just nothing like laughter that bubbles out of a child! They were throwing that airplane straight up into the air, between their legs, over their shoulders...you name it, they tried it. What fun.<br /><br />After that 3 or 4 Vova's friends joined us. As always, it was so pleasant being there amongst these children. But it seems like our two-hour visiting time is just not long enough anymore. I am finding that when 4:00 arrives, Jeff and I look at each other...and we know that neither one of us is ready to say goodbye. We could easily stay for hours longer. But, alas, we must go. As we were walking away this time, I kept thinking that when we play together, I hardly even notice anymore that we don't speak the same language as Vova and his friends. All I can figure is that love, fun and play must translate the same into any language!Miles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-4613702631019636572010-11-04T09:05:00.000-07:002010-11-04T22:06:23.816-07:00Mock Slumber PartyWe have had so much fun hanging out with the boys at the orphanage, Jeff and I have been wishing that we could bring them all back to our apartment to have a slumber party. Our kids back home just LOVE doing that, so we keep thinking that these kids would enjoy it as well. But, of course, inviting 10 or 11 boys from the orphanage over to our place for the night is not even a remote possibility. So, we figured we would take the party to the orphanage!<br /><br />Okay, so it wasn't the full fledged slumber party that we had, but it WAS a "mock" 2-hour slumber party. We took a movie (this one loaded in Russian, so there was no need for a remote), popped some popcorn, brought some grapes, drinks, candy and gum. Since we had only 2 hours, we quickly got the movie going. As the boys realized what was going on, they began to file into the room, and set up their places around the TV. Then we passed around the popcorn, grapes and drinks. We also passed around our camera so they could have fun taking pictures of each other. Some boys sat and watched the entire movie, while others gathered into small groups to play cards, or to do other games together. At one point, Jeff and I just sat back and breathed in the joy that was so tangible in that room! Jeff leaned over and said to me, "This is just like Jeffery's slumber parties back home...the boys are doing different things, but they are happy because they are all in the same room, comfortable being together, enjoying their companionship". He was right. It was wonderful, and so much fun.<br /><br />As our time together drew near, I realized how very much I needed to tell Vova that I love him. But the room was bustling with activity, so I brought him into another room where it was quiet. We sat down beside each other on one of the kid's beds, and he looked up at me. I'm not sure if I pronounced it exactly right, but I did it...in Russian, I told him that I love him. He looked down at his hands, then back up at me with a shy little grin on his face. Then he hugged me real hard. And, again, my heart just melted for this precious little guy.Miles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-7215918206946997542010-11-03T11:32:00.000-07:002010-11-03T12:40:26.520-07:00Many BlessingsToday when we went to the orphanage, we were thankful to see Vova in good spirits! The sadness that covered him yesterday was gone, and he was back to his energetic, fun self. Thank you all for covering him with your prayers!<br /><br />As always, the first thing we did today was to go to our special meeting room. But it was locked. Vova couldn't find the lady who had the key, so he motioned that we should follow him upstairs to where the bedrooms are. As we walked down the hallway, I looked in at the various bedrooms. Each one had 2 or 3 beds, and none of them had doors. In one way, it reminded me of a college dorm. Part way down the hall, there was a larger room, which was obviously a hang-out room. It had a couch, a bookshelf with some toys on it, and a TV with a DVD player. Interestingly, we had just bought Vova a DVD of Bolt, translated into Russian, so he could watch it sometime. When he saw we had it, he got excited, and put it into the DVD player to watch. His buddies must have heard him say something about having a movie, because as he was putting it in the DVD player, a host of boys came into the room with us. Unfortunately, when the menu came up, the movie was set on English; and since they did not have a remote control to change it to Russian, they decided not to watch the movie afterall. So Jeff and I decided that tomorrow we will bring our computer to the orphanage so they can all see Bolt like they wanted to. We also found some microwave popcorn at the grocery store, so I think we will pop 2 or 3 bags of popcorn and take that as well. I think it'll be fun!<br /><br />Since we couldn't watch the movie today, Vova was happy to simply settle into the familiar banter of playing simple games with us. We taught him how to play Go Fish, we played Uno, and we played Checkers. Then we had Vova work on a math workbook we brought with us. We found out that he can add and subtract quite well, and he can multiply up to 5. But that is all. He has no idea what dividing is, nor does he know what to do with fractions. So that gives us a clue as to where he will be in school. But he is a bright boy who likes math. I am certain that given a chance, he will learn quickly.<br /><br />I realized that things between us and Vova have changed a little bit over the last few days. When we first got here, he did everything he could to connect with us...he sat close to us, he held our hands, and so forth. But now it seems like he has a very healthy confidence in our relationship as parents and child. He still sits close to us, carries my bag, hugs us, and holds our hands, but these things are no longer done with vigor and uncertainly like they were just a few days ago. He seems to realize that his status as our son is secure, and that nothing will separate him from our love. Because of this, he is very much at ease around us, shows us affection in a casual way, and does not mind at all when we pay attention to his friends.<br /><br />Several times today I wanted to tell Vova that I loved him, but every time I started to say the words, I froze up. I almost felt like a school-girl, trying to tell the cute boy at school that I have a crush on him! I know, that's silly, and it's even sillier that I am struggling to tell Vova how very much I adore him. But tomorrow I have decided that I will say those very important words to him. He needs to hear them, and I need to make them known. I am sure that once I tell him that first time, then I'll probably tell him a hundred times every day!<br /><br />Being here has changed our lives. Jeff and I were talking over lunch today, realizing that being here is helping us to put life into it's proper perspective. All the STUFF that seems to permeate our lives back home, just don't seem all that important anymore. To be honest, I feel embarrassed that we have so many toys, so many pairs of shoes, so many coats, so many sets of dishes, so many...well...EVERYTHING! They don't mean anything! But PEOPLE mean everything! I truly believe that we will even treasure all of our children even more after this experience! But mostly, I feel very, very close to God right now. I don't think I have ever felt more in line with God's will than I do right now. It's an amazing feeling; one full of peace, joy and blessings. Thank you all who had a hand in helping us get to where we are. Thank you for your prayers, your financial support, your friendship, and your love. Every one of you has played some role in making this adoption a reality, and I didn't want to end today without saying thank you to you all!Miles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8182967424476972216.post-39097884230357537302010-11-02T10:28:00.000-07:002010-11-02T10:30:16.800-07:00Melancholy Day<p style="margin-top: 0in; margin-bottom: 0in;">Today our coordinator told us two very important things...one, that our court date has been set for November 11<sup>th</sup> at 2:00. And, two, that she was catching the train today back to Kiev, and would not be returning until the morning of the 11<sup>th</sup>. It feels good knowing that after all this time preparing to adopt, the end is finally in sight! It also feels good knowing that Jeff and I are able to take care of ourselves in this foreign land...we can order pizza really well, we can shop at the local grocery store, and we can get around at the orphanage just fine.</p><p style="margin-top: 0in; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></p><p style="margin-top: 0in; margin-bottom: 0in;">Speaking of the orphanage, today was sort of a melancholy day. When we got there, Vova was sitting in the office. Evidently he has a great grandmother who has kept in contact with Vova since he was placed in the orphanage. The best I can understand, Social Services got in touch with this great grandmother to tell her about Vova being adopted, and she said that she might call Vova today to talk to him about going to America with a new family (she does NOT like the idea of Vova going to the USA at ALL). Our coordinator said that the phone call wouldn't affect the adoption at all because the great grandmother is a sickly 84 year old woman, unable to care for him herself. But she said the call probably would be emotional. So we sat together and waited for the phone call. We waited and waited...but she never called.</p><p style="margin-top: 0in; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></p><p style="margin-top: 0in; margin-bottom: 0in;">So we went to our little room, and spent the next hour quietly putting together a 500 piece puzzle. Vova's friends didn't show up today, either. It was just us, and you could tell that Vova was deflated. Our coordinator said that he wanted to talk to his great grandmother to tell her that he wants to go to the US with his new family, and that everything would be alright. But since she didn't call, he didn't have that chance. Maybe she'll call some other day. I hope so.</p><p style="margin-top: 0in; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></p><p style="margin-top: 0in; margin-bottom: 0in;">Please keep little Vova in your prayers tonight.</p><p style="margin-top: 0in; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></p>Miles Clanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01482681404585859867noreply@blogger.com4